Managing Screen Time for Kids – Finding Balance and Preventing Arguments
Recently I was on Instagram stories giving a tour of our new tv room, and I explained how much we love watching movies and playing video games as a family. I also mentioned that my kids don’t have access to screens (except tv) during the school week, but that we save the weekends for playing on handheld devices and game consoles. Several moms reached out asking for details on how we manage screen time/devices in our home.
All I can do is share our experience and how we choose to manage this part of parenting. I’m going to break it down into three main points. We tend to look at our family unit as a team, so we try to make decisions and rules that everyone can follow.
Set limits and boundaries BEFORE ever turning on a device. Since Clark first got his Xbox at age 8, we made it clear that no one would play on it, or the Nintendo Switch, Sunday afternoon through Thursday afternoon (we have a four day school week). Since we made it a rule, he’s never even asked during the week, plus it gives him something to look forward to on the weekends! This same rule goes for the girls regarding their Amazon Fire Tablets. It was communicated to everyone, we all agreed, so now it’s just the way it is.
Set boundaries and/or time limits TOGETHER. Involving the kids in their own boundaries and rules has always worked well for us, and screen time is no different. Our kids will have to regulate their own activities in their own lives eventually, so we try to help them learn to do that sooner rather than later. Just as we as parents have to be diligent to find balance with tech, so do our children. After all, technology isn’t going anywhere, so they’ll need to learn to manage it. When we asked our older kids (age 6 and 9) how much time they thought was appropriate to spend on their devices, they both gave us a number lower than what we had in mind, so we went with it. It was a win!
Clark sets his own timer for Xbox, and I program the parental control timer on the Amazon Fire and Nintendo Switch. This has been successful for us more often than not. If there’s a fight or fuss when the time limit is up, it’s directly related to the next time they’re able to have screen time.
Regulating screen time is a FAMILY practice. Basically, I’m not gonna ask them to get off their device on a rainy day if I’m not willing to get off mine. Sometimes we binge, and some weekends we get so busy with other fun things, we go three days and barely turn a device on! Balance!
Bottom line, there’s no “one size fits all” solution for all families or all devices. For example, Apple devices or anything else that allows web browsing is a total “no-go” for us, (see why here) whereas other families manage them beautifully.
If you’re having trouble with little ones obsessing over devices, I suggest you start by taking devices off a pedestal and just viewing them as another toy/form of entertainment. After all, it’s possible to have too much of a good thing! Treat tech as part of your life and not an extreme. (A reward or punishment) Once it’s not such a big deal, chances are your kids won’t desire it quite as much.
This mindset, matched with proper boundaries to keep your kids safe, should set you up for a peaceful relationship with screens. After all, they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon!
Let me know in the comments below if any of this was helpful! Thanks for reading, XO Jamie
